My trip to Ohio and back.....Long ass drive=long ass entry.Day one
8:00 a.m.: Woke up.
8:26a: Got in car to leave.
9:30a: Stop to get drinks and snacks.
9:45a: Back on road.
10:00a: Heard "Renegade" by Styx, and began dancing like an idiot in the backseat.
1025a: Heard "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" [Poison]. Began singing, decided to start this damn journal thingy.
1030a: began writing my story, dumbass song came on [keeps repeating "She's my best friend's girl"]
1036a: Saw some black guy jamming to Toby Keith
1037a: Dad fell asleep.
1052a: Song came on, repeating "Everybody must get stoned"
1110a: Clint Black's "Like The Rain" is stuck in my head. [Never heard? Hear it.]
1117a: Pink Floyd's "The Wall"
1118a: Saw 2 Semis, one from Maine and one from New Jersey. [WTF were they doing down here? Dude, I'd've stayed in Jersey!!!!]
1123a: Green Day's "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams". Overplayed? Yes. Good? Definitely. "Read between the lines, what's fucked up and everything's allright."
1128a: Avenged Sevenfold "Seize The Day". Sad song. =[[[
1133a: I'm tired but I can't sleep. We're in Rushville. Speaking of Rush, "Freewill". I [heart] Rush. Metamora. [WTF kind of name is that? Where the fuck is that?]
1135a:Just stopped for stretches and drinks and more snacks. Once again, I got Pixie Stix. Yesterday I'd gotten a bag of them, and 49 came in it. I ate 41 of them within twelve hours. My dad threw my bag of cotton candy at me. See, Anna And Caleb, I toldja I'd get cotton candy too. I'mmma explode. In technicolor. Rainbow of guts. I'll have someone take a picture of it. =D
1157: This is the part where I start bitching about my ass hurting, my eyes aching, my knees locking up, my head pounding. The seats are too hard, the room between the back- and front seat is too small, the wind is jerking my hair around like a rag doll, the sun is too bright. My stomach begs for more food, but yet I'm full. My body pines for more sleep, yetI'm wide awake. My head aches for silence, yet I crave music. I need to be with someone, yet I want to be alone. I need hear the biggest lie of my life- those three meaningless words- yet I want the truth. I need something different, yet I don't want change. I'm one big fucking contradiction.
Part two of Day one.
1205p: Officially in Ohio. My last part took eight minutes to write. I just needed to let out some of the storm that's raging inside of me. I may have lost one battle, but not the war. The whirlwind of confusion sweeps through my mind, leaving debris and rubble where my thoughts had stood...
1220p: In Kentucky. [Continuing from Rant from before]- ...the same ruins I cannot just rift through, picking up bits and pieces in hopes that they'll fall back into place. No. Instead, I have to crawl, hands and knees, through broken fragments, sharp as glass, burning as fire, piercing my flesh, my tough wall of solitude, damaging the only thing that keeps me going- my strength. I have to run through tortorous flames, pass over impossible obstacles, swim against dangerous currents...
1241p: Just saw a license plate with "A7X" on it. I think it's just coincidal, though. [continuing from rant]- ...I try to hide the pain behind this mask. The mask that hides the tears, the fears, the bruises, the scars, the cuts...
146p: Had to stop for lunch. [here goes the rant]- I can't let anyone see I need help, need attention, need love, need care. It makes me feel vulnerable, makes me feel live I've allowed myself to be in debt to that person. I can't allow myself to let someone in, can't allow myself to let someone see the real me. I can't let myself trust or love fully. Only halfway. And that's if you're lucky.
207: Since we're back in Ohio, we drove by U.S. Grant's birthplace. I expected it to be big, and elaborate. It was...NOT! It was small, and...un-elaborate. For some reason my mom is listening to a radio station that plays '80s and '90s music. It's playing a song called "Make A Change" [or is it "Change"?] It's by Michael Jackson. It's good. Don't like it? Shove it. It's a good song by a bad person. Well I'mma jump so's I can write some more of my story =D
P.S. No wonder I like most '80s music. No sexual innuendo as there is now.
219p: Okay. Ohio and Kentucky have weird names for places. "Straight Creek"? No I thought it was triangular. "Mineola Pike"? WTF is up with their names? Right now we're driving by the river. It's beautiful to look over and see the sun reflecting off the water. IT's a gorgeous view.
227p: Ever heard the song "Love Shack"?
Tip: Don't.
235p: Green Day "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". Again.
249p: Billy Idol= the sex.
300p: Once again we stopped. Got some water. Pop is hurting my tummy. =[[ Pink is on. Forget which song it is. It's off her last album. [Not the one she just released but the one before that]. Megan says Ohio is the ghetto Indiana.
333p: Just saw a stripming. They're ugly. Megan says she thinks it's cool how they take the trees out and smooth the land out. Then I explained that they don't replant the trees, and if they do, it takes a long ass time for the trees to grow. Some of the trees on the mountain have been there for [possibly] centuries. Now she says it's bad. Knew I could get her to change her mind. =D
430p: Damn it, Caleb, I absolutely hate it when you're right. My sugar rush is gone. I'm tired. Not grumpy. For the past week or two, I've been staying up till 3 and waking up at 7. NOT ENOUGH SLEEP!!!!
440p: Just woke up to Megan laughing at me. Apparently, my head was going forward and a big gust of wind would push it backwards. Apparently she thought it was funny. Okay she says [and I quote]: I did think it was funny.
454p: In the hotel room. Mom just found out she's been bitten by a brown recluse [spider]. These chairs are fucking comfyyy! Has anybody had those LifeSavers Fusions? They're good! Well after my ten minute power nap: I'm awake!
600p: Mom went to get in the car and the alarm went off! It's the first time it's done that. I just saw a sign for "Tri-State Bible College". WTF?
941: Went to Ponderosa after swimming in the hotel pool out back. Ver fun. We went and picked up Ashley before hand. Now we're watching "City of Angels". I ♥ this movie. Now I'm sitting in one of the comfiest chairs of my life. ♥
1019p: Right now I'm sitting outside with Ashley, who's talking on the phone with one of her friends. You can definitely tell she's a girl. lmao. This is gonna be one of the longest blogs of my life, I swear to whoever you believe in right now. The moon is so pretty out. It's reflecting off the pool, causing confusion as to which moon is the real one. The crickets are singing their songs, the water casting shimmers of rippling light onto everything. The clouds ride like ghosts in the dark sky, drifting over the contrasting milky-white orb. Now it's fully veiled by the grey blankets, and the velvety sky is dark once more.
This is how my life appears to everyone. Quick glimpses of my heart, soul, then I hide again. It's not that simple though. I can't just voer my face with my hands. I can't just shield myself with my 'cool' clothes. Instead, I must give up what will save me. I must give up love, trust, care, attention, desire, happiness. Just for the sake of you.
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